Lisa Overflowing: And Now for My Mountain Top Post...

The human spirit really is indomitable. It does not want to be in the depths. It fights to buoy itself up, to break through the surface and take a cleansing breath. There may be moments when we are drinking in mouthfuls of salty water but inevitably (for most of us), we surface. That is where I'm at today. At the surface, floating around and enjoying the waves.

Life at the Showalter house is good. Sometimes I worry that it is too good. Sometimes I feel guilty about how happy I am, content. A lot of times it makes me feel as though - even though nothing horrible has happened - I'm waiting for that old proverbial "other" shoe to drop. Or I guess in this case, I'm waiting for the first shoe.

At one point in high school I remember lamenting over the fact that I was in a perpetual state of stress. I was always stressed. A close friend said to me, "Lisa, you don't know how to function without stress. If there wasn't anything to stress you out, you would create it." Ouch. I wondered if it could be true. I didn't want to be that person who is just "so busy" and has so much to do and never has time to slow down and enjoy life. I've held on to the memory of my friend's words and have tried to consciously live in a way that fights this culture's celebration of busy and overworked. I've not always succeeded. (I simply don't manage stress well. I'd love to figure out how to handle things better. And it's only in the last few years that "no" became a part of my vocabulary.) But for the last year and a half, I've been slowly learning how to pull it off.

And today I can exclaim contentment.

For the first time in my adult life I am focusing entirely on my chosen vocation: being a piano teacher. When I began teaching, I was working a full time job as well. Then I went back to college full time. After college I juggled teaching with working for my father's business. From there I transitioned into working at a church. So here I am, finally, doing one thing - and a thing that I really love. For a time I felt like I wasn't reaching my potential somehow by only teaching piano. But it has felt so great, this last year especially, being able to really focus in on teaching, that it's sinking in that this is indeed what I should be doing. This is enough.

It is true that I am never going to become wealthy teaching piano (I think this may be the source of the aforementioned guilt) but I am able to supplement Brian's income as well as take care of this household that I love so dearly without running myself ragged. Maybe we don't have oodles of excess cash laying around. But we can pay our bills, take a nice vacation each year, and still have time to enjoy each other's company in reasonably pleasant surroundings. We will not be sending in our entry forms to the rat race any time soon.

I will continue to battle stress all of my life, but I am not going to seek it. Instead I will seek simplicity and peace, even if they are, at times, out of my reach. For now, I will share with you pictures of my favorite place on earth. My backyard, the place where I sit and I "consider the lilies of the field."